joke

[earntaz]

Snotty Receptionist

Yesterday I had an appointment to see the urologist for a prostate exam. Of course I was a bit on edge because all my friends have either gone under the knife or had those pellets implanted.

The waiting room was filled with patients.

As I approached the receptionist's desk, I noticed that she was a large unfriendly woman who looked more like a Sumo wrestler than woman.

I gave her my name, and in a very loud voice, she said, "YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE. YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?

All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at me, a now very embarrassed man. But as usual, I recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied,

"NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS."

The room erupted in applause!

DON'T MESS WITH AN OLD RETIRED GUY

[earntaz]

I was eating breakfast with my teenage granddaughter and I asked her, "What day is it tomorrow?"

Without skipping a beat she said, "It's U.S. Congressman’s Day!"

She's pretty smart, so I asked her, "What does that mean?"

I was not ready for what she was about to say, and she replied, " U.S. Congressman's Day is when they step out of the Capital Building and see their shadow, and we have 2 more years of Bullshit."

Do you know how much it hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose