joke

[earntaz]

A drunk man who smelled of beer sat down on a subway next to a priest.
The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and
a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He
opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say Father,
what causes arthritis?"

The priest replies, "My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked
women, Too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around
with prostitutes and lack of a bath."

The drunk muttered in response, "Well, I'll be damned”, then returned to
his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and
apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How
long have you had arthritis?"

The drunk answered, "I don't have it, Father -- I was just reading here
that the Pope does."

MORAL: Make sure you fully understand the question before offering the
answer.

[Dave Rifkin]

A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train.

Although initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,

Excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.

'I have a better idea,' she replied 'Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married.'

'Wow! That's a great idea!', he exclaimed.



'Good,' she replied. ..............'Get your own f-ing blanket’


After a moment of silence, he farted.