joke

[earntaz]

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest nearly fell down when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life.
After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, "Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?"
Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father. A while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat.
I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday.
I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of church. So,
I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."
The priest said, "WELL, MURPHY, I NOTICE THAT YA DIDN'T STEAL McGLYNN'S HAT. WHAT CHANGED YOUR MIND?"
Murphy replied, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all."
With a tear in his eye, the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said,
"After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in hell, eh?"
Murphy slowly shook his head. "No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery', I remembered where I left me hat."

[m22mike]

A foursome of male golfers, all in their 40's, discussed where they
should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at
Hooters because the waitresses were young, good looking, had big
breasts and wore short-shorts.

Ten years later, at age 50, the golfing buddies once again discussed
where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they
would meet at Hooters because the food and service was good, they had
many televisions to watch the games on, and the beer selection was
excellent.

Ten years later, at age 60, the foursome again discussed where they
should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at
Hooters because there was plenty of parking, they could dine in peace,
and it was good value for the money.

Ten years later, at age 70, they discussed where they should meet for
lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because
the restaurant was wheelchair accessible and had a toilet for the
disabled.

Ten years later, at age 80, the friends discussed where they should
meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters
because they had never been there before.

[Verne_Frantz]

I like that one Mike. It reminds me of this one:

An arrogant young golfer walked into the pro shop before starting his game and said he can hit the ball so far, he can't see where it lands so he needs a caddie with the best eyesight possible.

The Pro calls over Eddie and said, "He has the best eyesight of any caddie I've ever seen"
The golfer says, "You've got to be kidding me - he's got to be 80 years old!"

"Actually, he's 85, but believe me, he can spot your ball"

So they start off at the first tee and sure enough, the golfer hits a long ball way out of sight. He says, "OK Eddie, did you see where the ball landed?"

"Yep"

"OK, where is it?"

"I forgot"

[m22mike]

That could be me Vern, but I don't golf. [img]<<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/naughty.gif[/img]