joke

[SeattleCarGuy]

In the spirit of the recent Power Ball lottery frenzy:

A guy comes home and storms in through the door, yelling to his wife: "Pack your bags! Pack your bags! I won the Lottery Jackpot!"

His wife responds, excitedly: "Oh my God! Oh my God! Should I pack for the mountains or for the tropics?"

He responds: "I don't care, just get the hell out!"

[bbbentley]

A man returned home from the night shift and went straight up to the bedroom. He found his wife with the sheet pulled over her head, fast asleep. Not to be denied, the horny husband crawled under the sheet and proceeded to make love to her. Afterward, as he hurried downstairs for something to eat, he was startled to find breakfast on the table and his wife pouring coffee. "How'd you get down here so fast?" he asked. "We were just making love!" "Oh my God," his wife gasped, "That's my mother up there! She came over early and had complained of having a headache. I told her to lie down for a while." Rushing upstairs, the wife ran to the bedroom. "Mother, I can't believe this happened. Why didn't you say something?" The mother-in-law huffed, "I haven't spoken to that jerk for fifteen years, and I wasn't about to start now!"