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Married life...
I just thought some of you married guys might get a kick outa this...
The trials and tribulations of the human male... I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men & women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil when it hears the words "I do." FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion started to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said let's get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry dept. where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier". I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for awhile. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either. |
#2
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Re: Married life...
....Amen Brother
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Dave C. 68 SS396 Camaro 69 SS396 CB Chevelle Conv. 70 340 Dart Swinger 70 SS396 Chevelle 4spd 70 SS396 Chevelle 70 BB 4spd Monte Carlo 70 SS454 Monte Carlo 71 SB 4spd Monte Carlo 71 SS454 Monte Carlo 71 Corvette LS-5 conv. 71 Corvette LT-1 conv. 71 Corvette LS-6 coupe 72 Monte Carlo 72 Monte Carlo Custom 72 442 W-30 clone 76 Trans Am SE 455 4 spd 85 Mustang GT Conv. 86 Grand National 02 SS conv.
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#3
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Re: Married life...
I'm gonna try that !!
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<span style="font-weight: bold"> (__{B}_____]]]]~~~~</span> Don't mess with old farts - age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience. |
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Re: Married life...
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#5
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Re: Married life...
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Mark |
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Re: Married life...
[ QUOTE ]
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either. [/ QUOTE ] I bet that is the understatment of the year...!!! I bet you don't get any sex for at least a year. And when you do? It is going to cost you big time....!
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70 BM Phase III GT Vette 69 BM SS427 GT vette? 69 L78 Nova 7k mi 73 Pantera 69 Vette B/P SCCA |
#7
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Re: Married life...
That is one of the best stories I have ever heard! TW
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02 Berger 380hp #95 Lots of L78 Novas Join National Nostalgic Nova! 70 Orange Cooler 69 Camaro |
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Re: Married life...
WHY DO TRUE STORIES HURT SO BAD
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1969 CAMARO X11 YENKO TRIBUTE CAR HUGGER ORANGE 1971 MONTE CARLO ORANGE AS WELL |
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Re: Married life...
Oh God I have to try that on my wife!
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Jeff |
#10
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Re: Married life...
My wife loved that one. She sent it to everyone in her office as well. It will be all over the internet in about 24 hours.
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~JAG~ NCRS#65120 68 GTO HO 4 spd Alpine Blue /Parchment 2 owner car #21783 71 Corvette LT1 45k miles Orig paint - Brandshatch Green - National Top Flight - last known 71 LT1 built. 71 Corvette LT1 42k miles Original paint - Black - black leather - only black LT1 known to exist. NUMEROUS Lemans blue Camaros, Monza Red and Daytona Yellow Corvettes & a Chevelle or two... Survivors, restored cars, & other photos https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/myphotos |
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