For you guys in the snow belt.

[Lynn]

Diary of a Snow Shoveler ~~

Day 1
6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife
and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge
soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses
print.So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

Day 2
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch
of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely
place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had.
Shoveled for the first
time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the
sidewalks.

This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and
closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.

Day 3
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My
neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Valentine's day. No
snow in February would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the
end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think
that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.

Day 4
Snow, lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to the
teens.The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I
warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life!

The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I
didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly
get back in shape this way.

Day 5
20 forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for
the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a
wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We
aren't in Alaska, after all.

Day 6
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in the driveway
putting down salt. Hurt like heck. The wife laughed for on hour, which I think
was very cruel.
Day 7
Temperature is way below freezing. Roads too icy to go anywhere.
Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm.
Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her.

Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I
hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own
living room.

Day 8
Electricity's back on, but another 14" of the damn stuff last night. More
shoveling. Took all day. Darn snowplow came back twice. Tried to find a
neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I
think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about
buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I
think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or
the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

Day 9
Bob was right about winter's here because 13 more inches of the white crap
fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took me
45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to
poop. By the time I got undressed, pooped, and dressed again, I was too tired
to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of
the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the jerk is lying.

Day 10
Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 15. The wife
wanted me to clean the porch furniture this morning.
What, is she nuts! Why didn't she tell me to clean them
months ago and cover them? She says she did but I think
she's lying.

Day 11
6" snow packed so hard by the snowplow, I broke the
shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever
catch the man who drives that snowplow I'll drag him
through the snow by his nose and beat him to death with
my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner
and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes
down the street at 100 miles an hour and throws snow all
over where I've just been!

Tonight the wife wanted me to watch a romantic movie with her, but I was too busy watching for the snowplow.

Day 12
Happy Valentine's Day! 20 more inches of the slop tonight.
Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. I
hate snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a
donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The
wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have
to watch "Sleepless In Seattle" one more
time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.

Day 13
Still snowed in. Why the heck did I ever move here?
It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

Day 14
Temperature dropped to record low and the pipes froze.
Plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him.
He only charged me $1400 to replace all my pipes.

Day 15
Warmed up to above 18! Still snowed in.THE WITCH is driving me crazy!!!

Day 16
Still more snow. Bob says I have to shovel the roof
or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever
heard. How dumb does he think I am?

Day 17
Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver. He's
now suing me for a million dollars not only for the
beating I gave him but also for trying to shove the
broken snow shovel up where the sun don't shine.

The wife went home to her mother. More snow predicted.

Day 18
I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

Day 19
Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me.
Why am I tied to the bed?

[SSJunkie68-69]

That's good.

I know exactly how that feels. We have had 77" of snow this season and they are calling for 8" tonight/tomorrow with a blizzard warning. I bought a snow blower before the the first snow fall this season and it has saved my azz~

I know when the Masters comes on we will still have snow on the ground.