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Dispatcher
: 9-1-1 What is your emergency? Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner. Dispatcher: Do you have an address? Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why? ..................... Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency? Caller : Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich . Dispatcher : Excuse me? Caller : I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it. Dispatcher : Was anything else taken? Caller : No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it! ........................ Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency? Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it. Dispatcher: This is nine eleven. Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing. Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid. ...................................... Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency? Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart Dispatcher: Is this her first child? Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband! ............................................ Dispatcher: 9-1-1 Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out. Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from? Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster. Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic? Caller: No Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing? Caller: Running from the Police. |
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Not 9-1-1 related but here's another funny I read this morning..
A man was sitting on the sofa watching TV when he hears his wife: "What would you like for dinner love...chicken, beef or lamb?" He says "thank you sweetheart, I'd prefer the chicken please." "Fxxx off, you're having soup...I was talking to the cat!" [img]<<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/beers.gif[/img] ~ Pete
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I like real cars best...especially the REAL real ones! |
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<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: PeteLeathersac</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Not 9-1-1 related but here's another funny I read this morning..
A man was sitting on the sofa watching TV when he hears his wife: "What would you like for dinner love...chicken, beef or lamb?" He says "thank you sweetheart, I'd prefer the chicken please." "Fxxx off, you're having soup...I was talking to the cat!" [img]<<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/beers.gif[/img] ~ Pete </div></div> Yep, good old soup. [img]<<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/haha.gif[/img] |
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A man walks into his kitchen with a duck under his arm.
He says, " this is the fat pig I've been sleeping with". The wife who's at the stove says, " that's not a pig, that's a duck". The man says, " I wasn't talking to you".
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69 Chevelle SS L88 "Day-2" Lemans Blue 69 Chevelle SS L34 postsedan project-Azure Turquoise |
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